Yes. All Spazzstick is made in a vast underground volcano lair by the busy hands of industrious worker trolls.
Trolls are hard workers, require very few benefits, and are never late to work, mainly because they never go home.
Also, trolls are technically neither human nor animal. They're faerie beasties. Therefore neither labor laws nor animal control laws apply. We just have to feed them nutritious gruel and keep them from eating the gnomes.
Absolutely not. Spazzstick.com is an equal opportunity employer. We hire bridge trolls, rock trolls, cave trolls, and even a few mountain trolls.
Cave trolls tend to be our best workers, mainly because they require no light or heat, thus saving money on utilities, keeping our prices low. It's very cost saving to have workers who see in the dark.
No silly, forest trolls are just make-believe.
No. We tried hiring gnomes in the past, but they steal. And bite. And they're always singing annoying songs. And the trolls kept eating them.
Nothing. That's the beauty of them, they mainly work for shiny beads and red rubber bands. We don't know what they do with them. Frankly, we don't want to know. We even have a company policy that prohibits speculation. Some things are better not known.
Oh yes, they're very clean. You may have heard stories about how dirty trolls are, but they're really quite clean.
Except for bridge trolls. We don't let the bridge trolls near the product. Or ourselves. In fact, I can't really think of a good idea to keep them around other than they keep threatening us with their clubs.
We're not telling.
They're mine! All mine. Don't touch.
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