Spazzstick was developed by an Alaskan
Police Officer, who needs both quality lip balm for the cold and the ability to
stay awake during long shifts.
was originally made in a vast underground volcano lair by the busy hands
of industrious worker trolls
in a beautiful little Eskimo Village called Kaktovik,
AK, by the inventor of Spazzstick and his hordes of worker trolls
in a vast underground volcano lair.
Why trolls? Trolls
are hard workers, require very few benefits, and are never late to work, mainly
because they never go home. TThe direct result
is that our minions work hard and pass the savings on to you.
found that trolls are sanitary, dependable, hard-working people who have thus
far been able to produce nothing but the highest quality, caffeinated lip balms
that the world has ever seen.
Since the inception, our goal has been to
help to provide you with prevention and healing chapped, sunburned, windburned,
and generally unhappy lips. Our customers come from all walks of life, including
underground volcano lairs. (Well, actually they are the families of our worker
trolls who recieve Spazzstick as a form of compensation, but still..).
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